My friend FA, I wrote the first note here about a month and took to heart the 2 responses left. I have not indulged in the sinful act of pronography since and this is how I have done it. First I recofnize (accepted) that I was commiting a sin and everytime we do sin, we tie God's hands and stop the blessings. I saw things not working in other areas of my life and came to the conclusion that pornography is one of the sins I was using (influenced by Satan) to stop the blessings over me and my family. Secondly, I had trouble looking at people in the eyes and feeling clean or with no blemishes; everytime I looked at pornography, the next day I felt dirty, guilty, and I felt like everyone new what I was doing and this made me feel trapped and not wanting to spend time with others. Thirdly, I felt so tired because I stayed up so late to be able to go online without being found out. I would like to tell you that it has been easy overcoming this, but it has not. But I know, like me, you can win this battle against satan. This is the way I have been winning it: First of all I have been reading the word everyday, this way I fill myself with the word of God and the Holy Sipirit which I think has done 2 things, first, the word fills the emptiness that drives me to act upon pornography, second, the word helps me understand the consequences of not being obedient to God. The other thing I have done (the most difficult) is that I have made a conscious decision to use preventive medicine, meaning, I stay away from my computer when no one is around, this way I can't open such sites, at night, I have been watching the Kenneth Copeland webcasts which are about 30 minutes long, I play them with the speaker on so my family knows what I am looking at during the evening when people are around I look at fun sites, cars, computers, etc.. Another thing I did was start thinking about the consequences of my actions and the effect it would have on my family. I think it would damage the trust we share and bring sorrow to our home, so I asked myself, Is it worth it for me to put our relationship and trust in jeopardy? the answer is NO, so I think everytime before I act. I know this is a difficult time for you, but be faithful. "I read somewhere that God does not call the equipped, He equipes the called" Pray for clarity of vision, courage, strength, and he will give them to you. I recommend a book called "Man in the Mirror" but most of all I recommend you read the word. I know you want to overcome this like I did, and I know you can. I pray that you recognize when you are being tempted to do it and take action to remove yourself from the moment and prevent getting online and on those site. Remember that temptation is not a sin until you act upon it. so take your eyes off yourself and think about your loved ones and ask, is it worth it? and Am I being obedient doing this? I send you my prayers and love as a brother in Jesus! YOU ARE MORE THAN A CONQUEROR! and your victory was already won for you when Jesus died on the cross!
Thank you everyone else for your prayers and support.

Have faith, MJ. Be strong. There is a hope and future for you! I am a wife of a husband who I recently (3 months ago) discovered has the same affliction as you. My husband and I have been married for seven years, and dated seven years prior. And I have always known my husband of a man of great integrity in so much that I thought he wouldn’t have sex with me at the same rate as I desired him because he respected me so and was more pure than I in not wanting physical intimacy. I know now it is because the inappropriate videos/material he was secretly watching that did destroy our sex life as Dotty mentioned. This, of course, has been a very difficult few months. Be certain that God can deliver you from this. Does your wife know? Please heed to God’s word in that your confession will set you free. Your wife can serve as a person who can hold you accountable and challenge you to grow in spiritual growth. Please pray to God that this can this sin can be revealed and that you are transparent with your sins. My husband and my healing has been painful but none the less necessary to grow in God’s love. It will be more difficult for your wife if she discovers it (as I did) than it be confessed to her. At that point you will be dealing with issues of trust, deception, infidelity, and there will be more pain and issues to work on. It will be easier for her to come to terms that you struggle with lust issues than for her to feel deceived and betrayed in finding out on her own. This will also allow for you to be able to seek the help you may need professionally or by obtaining books/friendships that will support your efforts to grow closer to God and your wife. I recognize your strength in coming forward with this evil stronghold that society and our culture has easily allowed access and even acceptance to. Do not be deceived! Love can get you through this. My husband is a wonderful, caring, loving person and though his indiscretion has broken my heart, I still love him and respect his arduous efforts. Be prepared to face the challenges and the required essential actions that will lead to salvation for both of you.
Remember 1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.
God will not forsake you! But Jesus requires of you Mark 9:43
If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life maimed than with two hands to go into hell, where the fire never goes out.
Be prepared to put parental controls, throw out the computer if need be (it is not a member or extension of your body), and that time you are spending in this pastime, spend with your wife. Build a relationship with your wife. Use all the energy to develop this gift that God has given to you: your marriage.
Proverbs 5:17-19
17 Let them be yours alone,
never to be shared with strangers.
18 May your fountain be blessed,
and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
19 A loving doe, a graceful deer—
may her breasts satisfy you always,
may you ever be captivated by her love.
Ephesians 5:30-32
30for we are members of his body. 31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."[a] 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.
Ephesians 5:24-26
25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word,
Mathew 5:28
28But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Hebrews 13:3-5
4Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. 5Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,
"Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you."[a
But if you refuse, remember
Malachi 2:13-15
13 Another thing you do: You flood the LORD's altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. 14 You ask, "Why?" It is because the LORD is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant.
15 Has not the LORD made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. [a] So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth.
Pray from release from your own treacherous heart
Mark 7:21 21For from within, out of men's hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, . . .
God can save you from this! Surround yourself with what is good, Christian music, readings, friendships, help your wife and be patient with her recovery. A scripture that has helped me through this is
2 Corinthians 7:7-9
7and not only by his coming but also by the comfort you had given him. He told us about your longing for me, your deep sorrow, your ardent concern for me, so that my joy was greater than ever.
8Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it—I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while— 9yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us.

Though I definitely have felt “wounded” and inflicted with a lot of harm from my husband’s actions, I have realized that I am not sinless, and need God’s grace as well, though I had felt that this was a personal attack on me, our relationship, and all that we stood for, I realize now sin is sin so whether my exaggerations and inflations (boastings) are just as painful to God as my husband’s quest for immoral material. I am not saying I am fully recovered, but with God’s and I am asking all of you for your prayers to fill me with the Holy Spirit to continue forgiving with God’s grace and mercy, I have been able to look at my husband with eyes of love again. I pray each day for the strength, renewal, to love, value, and see my husband as God sees him.
Pray for me to give me the ability to speak to my husband with words of love, in a way he perceives as noncritical of him, my anger and self-righteousness, my ability to forgive, trust again and to help steer him away from these temptations. I know that it truly is in God’s hands alone, but if there is anything I can do as wife to help my husband from falling continuously in this sin, please pray that it is revealed to me and that I have the strength and courage to confront this matter with God’s grace. Thank you all for listening and I apologize for the length of my post but hope that it may help someone somehow and will truly appreciate your prayers!
Books that are helping us through this are listed below, some are more geared for my struggle and some more for his. My husband is not much of a reader so just his devotion to me in picking up a book speaks volumes of his desire to change. We also have begun marriage counseling. What is important is that you are willing to get out of your comfort zone to make the vital changes in your life. I am forewarning you that it will take work but God desires our efforts in keeping his commandments. 2 Thessalonians 3:6 In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, we command you, brothers, to keep away from every brother who is idle and does not live according to the teaching[a] you received from us.
Sex Is Not the Problem (Lust Is): Sexual Purity in a Lust-Saturated World (Harris)
Not Even a Hint: Guarding Your Heart Against Lust (Hardcover) (Joshua Harris)
Man of her dreams/woman of his! (Davisson)
Living it & Loving it (Davisson)
Every Man’s Marriage (Arterburn)
Every Man’s Battle (Arterburn)
Freedom from Sinful Thoughts
Loving your spouse through prayer (Fuller)
Power of a praying wife/husband (Omartian)
Moments together for intimacy (Rainey)
Two Hearts Praying as One (Rainey)
Lasting Promise: A Christian Guide to Fighting for Your Marriage (Stanley)
Brokenness: Heart that God Revives (DeMoss)
Choosing Forgiveness: Your Journey to freedom (DeMoss)
Sex, Romance and the Glory of God: What every Christian Husband Needs to know (MaHaney)
Emotional Infidelity (Neuman)
The Act of Marriage (le Haye)
The Gift of Sex (Penner)
Sacred Sex (Gardner)
And they were not ashamed: Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment (Brotherson)
Love that lasts (Riucci)
The Five Love Language (Men’s /Women’s Edition) (Chapman)
Love Life for every married couple (Wheat)
How to date your wife (Cronin)
Romancing your wife/husband (Smith)
Do yourself a favor, Love your Wife (Williams)
Seven principles for making marriage work (Gottman)
Relationship Rescue by Dr Phil. His website has a pornography support blog.
I will pray for you and may God’s blessings be evident in your marriage and always. With God, all things are possible.