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Please pray for me. I desire God to grant me the desires of my heart. I know that in his perfect timing he will. Its the daily struggle of remembering this. I have fully submitted my life to God, but I still struggle with trusting that in his time he will bless me with love and happiness. I read some books not too long ago, about how God grants the gift of singleness & marriage. Now I am afraid that since my husband & I separated that he will punish me for not trying harder to keep my marriage together. My husband & I were unequally yoked. I wanted to live my life for God, and he didn't. He constantly brought abuse & strife into my life. I know that God led me out of a bad marriage. But my constant fear tries to convince me that he will punish me now.
About 2 1/2 years ago, I became interested in another man. At the time, he was totally interested in me, up until a year ago, when I rejected him. Another person asked me if I was interested in this man, and my response was no, because I was afraid. Now, a year later, I realize that I love this man. He started a relationship, shortly after realizing that I wasn't interested in him. It was bad for him, and emotionally abusive. I can't understand why such a great guy would fall victim to this, but then again, so did I. Now, he is slowly coming around, and I so want to be there for him, but I can't because he's a different person now, in a different place. I finally broke down and confessed to him that I was interested in him all that time. He told me he was too. But because of other factors, we work together that he was scared. This was nearly 2 months ago. He told me recently that he was still with the girlfriend at that time that caused him alot of emotional pain. He's been apart from her, for a month now. I see him trying to find his way back, but he says that he's scared to trust anyone, and he feels unlovable. Well, I love him. I love him for the man that he is, and the man that he was destined to be.
Pray for me, that we find each other. I know in my heart that he is the one for me. But I am scared. I think its all about timing, first I was getting over my emotional baggage, and now him. I have truly grown as a person, but I battle with my faith that God will work it all out in the end..
Pray for him and please pray for me, that I may know peace, and that God will guide me down the right path, and grant me the desires of my heart!
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