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Long but woth the read...
If the title of this article grabbed your attention, your marriage may fall into one of three categories: you met your spouse and married before either of you knew Christ; one of you hoped to "convert" the other after marriage; or the two of you are just at radically different stages in your spiritual growth.
Regardless of the particulars, spiritual conflicts within a marriage can produce monumental crises. If you are in such a relationship, you are no doubt familiar with the corresponding challenges.
But let's get to the bottom line: is there hope for success in spiritually mismatched marriages? Truly, with God's help, anything is possible. But in many cases, the biggest inhibitor to progress is that Christian spouses simply don't know where to start. Many have become hopelessly discouraged after receiving ridicule and resentment for their commitment to Christ.
Therefore, the first course of action for a Christian spouse is to gain a clear understanding of his or her biblical role and responsibility in an unequally yoked marriage. Christian author Lee Strobel offers this advice as a starting point: "The Bible gives Christian wives and husbands this responsibility: love your spouse. Love him or her unconditionally. Be devoted, be prayerful, be encouraging - but don't try to be responsible! You're not. Your spouse is. Period.
"Above all, don't blame yourself. The devil wants to use guilt and feelings of inadequacy to cause you to doubt your own faith. 'This is too difficult,' he whispers. 'Your husband or wife is going to leave you if you place Christ first in your life.' We must resist these snares from Satan, along with our urges to give up and give in. You must release yourself from feeling guilt over the fact that your husband or wife is not a believer." *
When you understand that you cannot change your spouse - only God can do that - you will be free to relinquish your guilt and move on to more productive efforts. Instead of nagging your husband or wife to attend church or read Christian literature, the Bible suggests that there are ways to influence your spouse for Christ.
Use your fruit! Your actions set an example. Instead of returning the ridicule you may be receiving, demonstrate the kindness and compassion of Christ. Consider how Jesus treated the woman at the well. He could have condemned or embarrassed her, but He chose to show mercy and to offer her an irresistible gift: eternal life. First Peter 3: 1-2 also confirms that a woman can win over her husband with actions: "Then, if any [husbands] are disobedient to the Word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives."
Think outside the box. Treat your spouse as you would an "outsider" Colossians 4: 5-6 instructs us to treat "outsiders" or unbelievers, with compassion. Just because you have a deep emotional investment in your marriage relationship, it does not mean that you cannot employ creative methods of evangelism with your spouse. Think of how you would reach out to a co-worker or neighbor to share the Gospel. Have you considered using these subtle techniques in your marriage?
Pray with purpose. Knowing the Scriptures and praying specifically for your spouse's salvation is one of the most effective things you can do. Ask God to use you to pour out His love upon your husband or wife, and at the same time, pray for guidance and strength for yourself.
Start with common ground. Can you think of a Christian setting in which your spouse feels comfortable? If it is not in church, try a Christian concert, a couples Sunday school event, or having dinner with believing friends. In Surviving a Spiritual Mismatch in Marriage, Lee and Leslie Strobel advise the Christian to occasionally visit "seeker" church services with an unbelieving spouse so that he or she may become familiar with the eternal benefits of serving God.
Include, don't exclude. It is vitally important to remember that, despite your differences, you have made a commitment to your spouse and to God in the form of your marriage covenant. Becoming resentful or withholding affection will only send a negative message. Displaying love and understanding instead of bitterness may be the greatest witness you can provide.
Above all, remember that God is with you. He will be your strength, your rock and your provider as you walk this difficult road. Not only does He love you; He loves your spouse as well. The Bible tells us that the angels rejoice when a lost sheep come home. (Luke 15: 7) As you await this blessed day in you spouse's life, take comfort in the Shepherd who pursues us with passion.
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Thanks for sharing this was wonderful. If I could I'd like to add & mention that just Sunday my neighbor whom I just found out is a Christian! I told about my husband wanting us to split & us moving separately into our own places Labor day weekend,cause she asked if we were moving. Anyway..... She gave me a book to read by Charles Stanley titled "When the enemy strikes" I jumped right to the two chapters titles "Standing Strong in Prayer" and "Protecting Your Family" Alot of what you said Dave is touched upon in those chapters. Soon as I get the chance I'm going to read through the whole book.
Something that encouraged me written in the book was...(quote from the book)
"A woman once said to me, "the strongest attacks of the devil that I experience seem to come when I'm praying. Is there something wrong with the way I'm praying?" I said (charles stanley)"No, there's something very right about the way you're praying!" The devil will do his utmost to distract us while we pray be cause he knows the effectiveness of a righteous person who is praying with faith. The devil knows far better than most human beings just how potent prayer is and how directly prayer is related to his destruction!
So saints.... with agreeing with what Charles Stanley has written in is book. I encourage you to pray constantly, daily, for every single aspect of your lives. No matter how small or silly it may seem, Pray Pray Pray.
:-)
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