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Dear Suzie:
Alanon is OK, but sometimes people there have other agendas, like they might also have in AA (occasionally it seems that some other women in Alanon have an interest toward me in things other than fellowship and recovery -- in AA, my wife had been hit on by other men). Celebrate Recovery ("celebraterecovery.com"), a more true Christian based AA and Alanon combined, is better if meetings are in your area (check their site).
Prayer, fellowship with my own family (my brother, her brother, my own sons), a psycholigist, and especially a closer, honest walk with Christ through prayer, Bible study, and working/worshipping with others gets me through. Take care of yourself and your family first. God provides the help for you, and also God provides the test and the trials for your spouse to choose one way or another as well.
My prayers are with you, always. There are so many out here who are struggling with these intrinsically evil things that have affected our marriages. I have been in contact with others, and one thing that has helped has been the fellowship at sites like Restore Ministries ("restorem.org") and Rejoice Ministries. My Restore Ministries prayer partners, whom I talk to occasionally, have proved more valuable and helpful than any Alanon sponsor or relationship, and that is one earthly thing that God has put in my walk that has helped me.
My you find your peace and see God's hand in events, every day.
Your brother in Christ,
Frank C.
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