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I have to say that Joanie and I are not doing well at all. No matter what I have done, what I have prayed or what I feel, she just pushes farther and farther away. I feel that she has already found my replacement and I am saddened to think that she takes no consideration for my unborn child. Amoungst all that has happened my son do not deserve to have a life that is unbalanced because of the sins of his mother and father. It breaks my heart to think that she can take this child and hold him over my head. I think now I have come to the point of truly letting go and understanding what it really means to place all of your trust and heart into God's hands. I think to myself when I get angry that God did not do this to me Joanie did. God gave her a choice and she has made it. I know that I can not change her mind, or control her actions. The only control I have is over me. My brother, I am at my witts end but fear I must suffer much more before I will find relief. it is very very difficult to love someone that does not love you back. I now have had the bitter taste that Christ has felt. To give so much of yourself and be hated for it. You will continue to be in my prayers and forget not the blessings that you have in your life. God bless.
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