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I'd like to use this medium to share my testimony. Maybe it will help someone in the same dilemma.
I was born to parents who had recently received Christ as Savior and dedicated me to the Lord at birth. They took me to church regularly and I learned Bible stories, how to pray, and Bible verses so well that many were impressed. I was supposed to have made a decision to receive Christ at the age of 7, but I don't remember anything about that day. As I grew older, events began to steer my life away from the things I was taught. I became trapped by pornographic literature, which among other influences led me into sin. My parents divorced when I was about 17. Not long after that, I enlisted in the military, but I did not complete the 3-year term. A chaplain helped me get a general discharge. I went back to work, but did not last there long. I went back to live with my dad, who was also now away from God. I began thinking about going to Bible college to find out why I had been taught to believe the things I did, but had no idea how I would get to the one my youth pastor suggested. Then I put an ad in the paper for work and was called by an elderly widow to check out something she thought she could help me with. It was not something I was interested in, but I noticed she needed some repairs done to her steps, so I brought my dad over and he fixed them. Not much later, he decided we should move in with her. It was then I found out she used to live in the area where this Bible school was and knew people in the church there. My dad decided to marry her, and the three of us headed for Tennessee in 1972.
I was miserable there because I was having so many doubts about my salvation. Seven months later, a friend taking me to work asked about my salvation; when I told him I couldn't rmember anything about that day, he insisted I should be able to remember SOMETHING. I got upset with him. But the more people I asked, the more agreed with him. So three days later I prayed and claimed Heb 11:6, asking God to show me that day what I needed to do. I was working in a department store. That day at work I went to the men's department to look around. I was not shopping, but for some reason I went to a table where there were some men's trousers laid out and picked up some and found a piece of paper under them. It was a gospel tract which had one word on it: SETTLED. I read that tract and that night after dinner I bowed my head in the presence of two friends, wept and prayed to receive Christ.
I'm glad my salvation and security does not depend on how well I have lived the Christian life since then because I can say I have failed Him many times. But I thank Him for leading me to a good church where there is compassion and love for people.
May I say in closing, our church is one of many that reaches out to those entangled in addictions through a ministry out of Rockford, IL, called Reformers Unanimous. To all out there who have posted prayer requests on this site, let me encourage you to find a chapter in your area by searching their web site www.reformu.com.
I am now actively serving in my church. God's given me over 800 poems and some songs which speak out about my faith and have encouraged many. I praise Him for "He Loved Me With A Cross."
That's my favorite song, and my Bible verse is Psalm 40:2
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